It all started when we were first married. After the honeymoon, we returned to Pennsylvania and prepared to move to our new home in Florida. My wife, Darla, wanted to stay in PA for a week or so because her sister's first child was due to be born. But I had an appointment with an important potential client in Florida that I thought I needed to I keep. So I insisted we hit the road as scheduled. Now I also wanted to make sure my wife understood the "Rossetti" rules of the road. So I pulled her aside and spoke to her as though she were a child about the importance of going to the restroom before we left. I explained that we would not be stopping until the truck filled with belongings in needed gas. "Therefore, little lady, you had better go to the bathroom now. There will be no stopping for several hours!"
After only about a half an hour into our three day journey, I had to go to the bathroom. It seems that Big Gulps end up becoming "Full Bladders."
Dilema time. How do I pull off the road without losing power, control, credibility after just 8 days of marriage?
My wife was quietly reading a book and enjoying the ride when I tried deception number one. "Honey, listen, I'm sorry I was so mean before we left. If you want to stop, just let me know." She said, "No I'm fine."
After about 15 minutes, with the pressure in my lower regions building, I tried another excuse. "Listen, we should enjoy ourselves, not be in such a rush. So if you want to stop we can." Again she declined my offer.
Finally, with time running out on my anatomical clock, I told her with my most sensitive, caring, yet manly voice, "Seriously. We can stop if you want to. I really don't want you to suffer." Again, she let me know she was enjoying the trip and felt no need to stop at all.
I saw an exit and hit the blinker and slowly tried to ease off the highway without her noticing. Of course that didn't work and when she asked, "Why are we pulling off the road?" I yelled out, "I've got to go to the bathroom! Alright?" "Is that okay?" A man's got to do what a man's got to do!
It was at that moment I knew I was fighting a losing battle. Did I really think I was in control of our marriage, life and future? I couldn't even control my own bladder?
Somewhere in the wedding vows there should be the line, "For dumb or dumber". That of course would be for the bride to say.
What was clearly evident to me early on in our marriage was that I was not truly in control of anything. I wish I could say that was the last time I tried to do things "My way or the highway", but sadly it was not. Much of the stress, trouble and aggravation I face in life comes from me insisting on doing things "My way." That may have worked for Frank Sinatra but it's not going to work for me. Looking back over 27 years of a marriage, the best times were the times I let God be the leader.
Oh, and by the way, when we arrived in Florida, my important client canceled our meeting..........